A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to speak to a group about Love Addiction. As is usually the case, while preparing for this talk I learned a lot! Many years ago, I read Pia Mellody’s Facing Love Addiction and it changed my life. My husband and I were stuck in the cycles she described. At that time, I began codependency recovery and we began to address our issues that were keeping us in the vicious cycles of Positive Intensity and Negative Intensity that signify a love addicted tango. We got better. As I prepared for my talk I remembered the work I had done in the early 90’s. I also studied the text of Love Addicts Anonymous, Addiction to Love, I came across the description of the Narcissistic Love Avoidant. According to author Susan Peabody, a Love Addict will always be triggered by a narcissist. It pays the Love Addict to familiarize themselves with the characteristics of the narcissist. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a Love Avoidant – in that they fear engulfment, but they are much more toxic.
Narcissists lack empathy, think they are special, can be bullies, blame and avoid taking responsibility for their part in things, are manipulative and controlling, cannot admit faults and avoid activities that lead to bonding. At their best, they can be charming, at their worse, they can be abusive and even dangerous. (You can learn more about this by searching the internet.)If you are a Love Addict and are in the unfortunate position of being in a relationship with a narcissist, there are a few things that you need to know. 1) you are not to blame; 2) it is very difficult to get out of the snare, but it can be done; 3) Love Addicts Anonymous meetings will definitely help provide the education and support you will need to get free 4) you will need to begin recovery and probably do some work on resolving childhood trauma issues. The important thing to know is recovery is not only possible, it is quite probable if you do the recovery work you need to do.
If you would like to know more about the avoidant narcissist or how to free yourself, please let me know.For information about my next 3 day Trauma Intensive to help you break free of the bondage of love addiction and other addictive disorders….call me at 210.287.4002 or email me. I would love to help you on your journey of recovery and Transformation!