I’ve been thinking about this lately. So many of the Christians I work with need boundary work. They seem to think that having boundaries is bad. A good book that addresses this topic is Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend.
What are boundaries? They serve several purposes – they protect us from offensive behavior and they contain us from being offenders ourselves. They also keep the good stuff in and let the bad stuff out, keep the bad stuff out and let the bood stuff in.
According to Pia Mellody, there are three kinds of boundaries. Physical, Sexual and Internal. It is the Internal Boundaries where most of us have problems.
There are two parts to our internal boundaries – listening and talking. Of key importance in our talking boundary is speaking our truth in love. Many Christians are trying to be “nice” instead of telling the truth. Telling the truth doesn’t mean I have to be rude. Telling the truth with boundaries and moderation works! When I am with someone who I know will be honest with me, I feel safe!
Here’s something Jesus said along this topic: “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one”. Matthew
Looks like Jesus believed in boundaries, too!
If you need help with your boundaries or would like to learn more about them, you can contact Stephanie at 210.287.4002 or through her website at www.stephanieecke.com.