Well, it’s Christmas and this is often the time that the love addicted tango comes to a screeching halt….I get lots of calls this time of year from love addicts in the throes of withdrawal….So, what is it and how does one get through it?
Basically, love addiction withdrawal occurs like any other addiction withdrawal when the addictive substance is removed. In this case, when the object of the love addict’s affection is removed, all the feelings come up that the love addict has been stuffing down.
Since love addiction is an addiction issue caused by childhood trauma, neglect and abandonment, it is the feelings from the original wound that come up during withdrawal…the feelings of shame, pain, abandonment, fear, grief and anger. This can be an excruciatingly painful and difficult time for the love addict. A good support system such as SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous), LAA (Love Addicts Anonymous) or Al-Anon can be invaluable during the withdrawal process.
Besides attendance at meetings, some tools to help cope with withdrawal are: 1) taking it one day at a time; 2) calling a support person when obsessing; 3) journalling about feelings; 4) having some child-like fun; 5) going for a walk or exercising; and most importantly 6) working the Steps with a sponsor.
The main thing is to resolve the child trauma experiences. It is for this reason that I have teamed up with Amy Fisher Hodges, RN, LCDC to conduct Healing Pathways, our Three-Day Trauma Intensive…..Through this process, participants have enough time and group support to resolve much of the trauma that drives the love addiction…
This frees the Love Addict up to take all the energy they have been using on their addiction and use it on loving and taking care of themselves…..NOW THAT’S A GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFT! HAPPY HOLIDAYS
For more info: contact Stephanie Ecke, LPC, LCDC at 210.287.4002